Is This Love?
by Skye Darkwing
Summary: This is something I'm writing until I can come up with something for my other story. It takes place in the 1 season when Mamoru and Rei are dating and Usagi has to deal with it. R
1. This Feeling

_**Is This Love?**_

**(Usagi's POV)**

The door bell to the arcade rang slightly as the sliding doors opened for me. I walked in tired and worn out. My teacher had kept me after school, because I had fallen asleep during first period. But who wouldn't be tired and wanting to sleep after an entire night of fighting youmas? Motoki waved at me from the counter. Not wanting to worry him, I put on my bright, cheerful mask and waved back.

The girls had already arrived at the Crown Arcade. They sat in out usual booth with drink and a basket of fries already ordered. I did a double take, not seeing Rei anywhere. I searched the area and stopped suddenly seeing her with, Mamoru-baka, her new boyfriend.

I watched him gazing at her tenderly as they sat side by side on the counter's stools. Rei had one hand on his shoulder, as she rested her head there, looking up at him. I couldn't see her face, but I knew the look in her eyes already. I had seen it a thousand times on both of their faces. Happy. Pure bliss and content. Two people who had finally found each other in this world.

I was glad that my best friend had found someone who would make her happy. I would even tell her so from time to time. Yet, in my mind it was as though everything that I knew as good and justified was collapsing.

Unable to move, I just kept standing there.

"Why isn't it me?" I asked to myself.

You were there as I had never seen you before, Chiba Mamoru. Did you even know the way I feel about you? No. I don't think you can. I hide it too well. I can only feel from far away. How on earth can I express this emotion?

I saw her kiss him on the cheek and then move back to the booth. I watched as his eyes followed her leave. When do you first miss her? I asked to myself, as if to ask Mamoru. How long does it take for you to miss her not being right by your side?

His eyes trailed along until they came across mine. Both our eyes locked and for a moment in time we just stared at each other. I saw something in them that I couldn't explain. Something he has never shared with anyone. About that time, I realized the truth.

Then, every memory I have ever had with Chiba Mamoru came flooding back. Mostly of us in this place, arguing. But those memories were all fake. I saw through the lies, and even if I pretend they were true, its' just so excessively empty. He was with Rei and I could never come between them. I blinked and before I knew it he was walking towards me.

Do you feel this emotion from so far away?

This feeling... Is this known as "love"?

* * *

**(Darien's POV)**

Later that day, after being at the arcade, I walked down the street. I didn't know where I was going, I would just let my feet lead me for now. This was so unlike me to just wonder aimlessly around. It was only until the fresh scent of roses caught my attention that I realized where I was.

Somehow, no matter how hard I try, I always wind up here. Tokyo's public park. The sun had set by the time I reached the area I wanted to be in. The part of the park where all different types of roses. I walked around, bending down and sniffing each rose. Taking in the wonderful scent that it carried. Once I was satisfied, I waltzed over to a nearby bench. It sat near the shore of the lake.

Today's events played within my head. Usagi was the first that came to mind. I couldn't get her out of my mind and it was driving me crazy. I felt bad because I was thinking of her and was with her best friend. Rei was great and I can see myself with her in the future. There could never be anything between Ordango Atama and me.

"I'm just feeling guilty for teasing her today." I said out loud.

That was a big fat lie. The voice in my head told me. I discovered that today when she came in looking the way she did. Sad. Hurt. Lost. We must have stared at each other for at least a whole minute, but it felt like an eternity. I could stare into her eyes for the rest of my life and never get bored.

I knew that she had liked me for some time, but couldn't find myself to tell that the feelings were mutual. The fighting had been an act I put on. My lips told lies for a trivial reason. I suppose it was for no one else. Only to protect me when I was thoughtless enough to believe that someone like her could ever love me. I was cold to her and pushed her away. I went as far as to go out with her best friend, Rei. I hurt her deliberately.

When I noticed, I was trapped and at a loss; surrounded by countless lies, I got up and left. I left her standing there in the door way and never looked back. Never spared her a second glanced, and now here I am.

The sky I looked up at was beautiful. I think of you, Usagi. I wish I could walk with firm steps. Facing forward like you. Able to let go of something you want, just so others around you are happy and filled with joy. You are so kinda and generous, so loving. After such excuses, my eyes were opened. What I could do was only to live in the present time, and not dwell on the 'what ifs'.

Does this voice reach you?

Does it ring in your heart, my Usako?

This feeling...is this know as 'love'?

**AN: This was just a One-Shot deal that I wrote cuz I was bored. I'm waiting for inspiration on what to do on my other story. Hope you enjoyed this. PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!**


	2. Closer to You

**(Usagi POV)**

The next day, as before, I walked into the arcade. Non of my friends were going to be there

today. Ami had cram school, Rei had to run errands for her grandpa, Lita was taking karate class

to refresh her moves. Mina was staying after school to try out for the track team. I was all alone

with nothing to do. Motoki must've saw me first, because I heard him call out my name. I

snapped out of my thoughts and cheerfully waved at him. I turned my head and saw Chiba

Mamoru staring back at me. He was huddled over a cup of coffee. I told myself to stop my heart

from beating so fast when I saw him. Rei and him were together and I wasn't going to do

anything to get between them. They were happy. Those reminders still didn't help, as I wanted

them too.

The old wound left on me began to ache. I hid my trembling heart again... And pretended to

smile. Even now, I'm the same as before. As timid as before. I only learn how to pretend to be

strong. Though my heart is filled with feelings to convey I can't change them into words well.

If I had not met you I wouldn't even have such an embarrassing pain. How can you do this to me,

Mamo-chan?

Heat rushed to my cheeks at the nickname that I had given the baka a month back. I took in a

silent breath and walked over to the counter. I sat down with a seat in between us. From the

corner of my eye, I saw that he kept staring at me until Motoki cleared his throat. That was when

Mamoru shook his head and sipped at his hot coffee. He looks so good right now.

I sighed. I should have more important things on my mind. Like Beryl and the Negaverse. They

are more important than Mamoru-baka.

Little by little, I've come to realize that my past never heals. ..And that it's no use. Fearing the

future I can't refuse. Fighting Beryl's minions and saving the world, as Sailor Moon. How much

more courage do I need?

To say with my head held high, "This is the only important thing to me", would just be another

one of my lies. How can I say this when you are always on my mind? Though I have firm

feelings. I can't change them into words as usual. Everyone is living this way. With feelings they

can't express...

Mamoru, can you hear my words?

_...I love you..._

**(Mamoru POV)**

My eyes met yours again, we talked a little. My heart throbbed and I hid my feelings behind a

simple frown. I was afraid I might not be able to go back to the times when I had not known you.

It was late and we both couldn't believe that we had talked until closing time. I offered to walk

Usagi home and she agreed after a moments hesitation. I understood that it was a bit of a shock

that I was being so nice to her. We hadn't argued all day. It was nice to talk to her like this.

The wind has already gotten cold. Laughing voices fill the air with white breath. It may be

because of the winter that I feel like crying for nothing. We walked down the sidewalk of various

streets. I didn't know where we were going so I allowed her to lead. At some points she got

distracted and led us down the wrong street. After spending so much time with her, I began to see

a change. A different Usagi than I had thought I knew.

I remember that day when we first met even now...

_**When Usagi went outside, she crumpled up her test and threw it away. Then a voice behind her said, "That hurts, odango atama." Usagi's test had hit someone's head. The guy looked at the test score and told Usagi that she should study more. Usagi got mad, took the test back, and started walking home. When Usagi passed by the game center, she noticed that the Sailor V game had come out. **_

We have come to know each other little by little...But suddenly I find I knew nothing at all about

her.

Please tell me what you feel.

My love grew when we couldn't meet. My heart ached because my voice didn't reach you. I found

I couldn't go back to the times when I had not known you. We talked about everything. From

what we had done that day to our entire lives. I found that it was easy to tell Usagi about my past.

She didn't pity me, instead she stood by my side and comforted me. It felt good. Then the subject

had changed to Rei somehow. I saw another change in her. Something dark and hidden behind

those blue eyes of hers.

Please don't smile with such sorrowful eyes. As if you were about to be broken and disappear.

What can I do, my Usako?

Why can't I tell you how I honestly feel?

Why can't I be tender?

Why do we hurt each other?

Why does my heart aches so much?

Why does my heart always goes out to you?

Why can't I think of anyone but you?

_...Usagi, I'm in love with you..._

**AN: I decided to just on instead of a one-shot. I am way too bored and need something to write till an idea come to mind. Please tell me what you think.**


	3. Author's Note

**Author's Note: **

_**I am so sorry for not posting any chapters for the stories I have. I feel so bad and ashamed that I have become one of those authors that can't even post once a week. This year has just been so hectic for me. If you all will please just be patient just a while longer, then I will have all my stories updated for you. I am seriously sorry for doing this to all of you. Please forgive me! **_

_**Thank you,**_

_**Skye Darkwing**_


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